This is the ultimate guide on what to do if your ex boyfriend blocks you.
And I want to be crystal clear about one thing. This is NOT one of those lame guides that is going to be 100 words of fluff.
Instead you can expect this guide to take an in-depth look on exactly how to handle a situation where you’ve been blocked in all forms of communication including (but not limited to,)
- Texting
- Calling
- SnapChat
- Skype
- Etc.
Let’s dive right in!
(Side Note: If you get through this guide and find yourself thinking, “I need more information about this,” then I highly recommend you check out my book, Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.)
Understanding Why You Were Blocked
Ziad K. Abdelnour (author of Economic Welfare) once said,
“If someone is going out of his way to ignore you, he is not ignoring you, he is obsessed by you.”
I love that quote because everything about it is true. Think about it for a moment. Every time a woman comes to this site and decides to implement the no contact rule she is technically obsessed with her ex boyfriend. He is on her mind the second she wakes up for the day, the second she gets in her car to go to work and the second she closes her eyes to go to sleep.
So, when an ex boyfriend blocks you does it mean that he is obsessed with you?
I would say that he is.
However, the issue that you are running into is that he is obsessed with you for the wrong reasons.
Do you have a chance of getting him back?
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Obsessed For The Wrong Reasons?
Ahh… here is where things begin to get a little tricky. Lets take the examples I gave above :
(A woman going into no contact VS. An ex boyfriend blocking that woman)
Ok, a woman who visits this site and reads about the no contact rule will probably want her ex boyfriend back. That means when she thinks about him she is probably filled with good feelings. Sure, maybe there were some really bad fights and the relationship wasn’t as strong as she thought but if she is willing to try the no contact rule then deep down she really wants things to work and probably still loves her boyfriend.
I would consider this to be “obsessed” but for the right reasons (being obsessed usually isn’t a good thing though as I will point out shortly but bear with me here.)
Lets turn our attention to an ex boyfriend who has decided to block his ex girlfriend. First off, being blocked by an ex is never a good thing. Lets not beat around the bush here. If you have been blocked this is really bad.
However, I did mention above that if an ex blocks you it probably means that a part of him is obsessed with you.
Unfortunately, he is obsessed with you for the wrong reasons. There is only one way I can think of to describe this phenomenon. You are annoying to your ex boyfriend. Every time he thinks about you he is not filled with good feelings he is filled with annoyance. While he thinks about you often the feelings he gets aren’t good.
The challenge that you are going to faced with is to determine if he is worth the effort required to turn his bad feelings into good feelings but more on that later.
For now I would like to dive a little deeper into the mindset of a man who has blocked you.
Do you have a chance of getting him back?
Take Our QuizWhy He Blocked You
I am about to give you the biggest advantage ever.
I am a man who has blocked women before. Some of the women I blocked were exes and some of them were just friends that pushed me to the point where I couldn’t deal with them anymore. I am going to let you in on exactly what caused me to block these women. In addition to that I have literally seen hundreds of women be blocked by their exes so I know all the main reasons for a “block” to happen.
My point here is that what I talk about on this page may be hard to hear but it is going to prepare you and maybe get some light bulbs to go off. Lets start with one of the most interesting reasons a man could potentially block you.
It Hurts Too Much To Talk To You
This is something that I have experienced first hand which is why I know it exists. In fact, this is something that I have to explain to my one on one coaching clients a lot.
I guess if there was ever going to be a positive reason for an ex boyfriend to block you this would be it.
Essentially how this works is that every time your ex talks to you on the phone or through text messaging it hurts him.
Not the kind of hurt where you fall down and skin your knee. No, I am talking about a deep hurt. The type of hurt that stays with you all day long and is impossible to get rid of.
If you are wondering about my particular situation I wasn’t actually officially dating the girl I blocked. In fact, this was years ago and I was starting to develop some feelings for her. Feelings that weren’t reciprocated. As a guy let me tell you it is a very humbling feeling when one moment you are on top of the world because you think a pretty girl is falling for you and then BAM!!
Like a Chuck Norris punch you learn the truth that your feelings are one sided.
Now, I am the type of guy that is very calm and classy in situations that don’t go my way (and believe me I have had a lot in my life.) Nevertheless, knowing that someone doesn’t feel “that way” about you can be very upsetting and it takes a toll on your mental health.
I made the decision to block this particular girl not because I was trying to be hurtful or “get back” at her (which I will talk about in a moment) but because it hurt to talk to her when I knew my feelings weren’t reciprocated (kind of held it against her.)
“But Chris, maybe if you waited around she would have woken up and realized that the perfect guy was right there in front of her.”
I am sorry but my time is valuable and I am not one to be strung along. Besides, for me the perfect girl will know right away and won’t need time to “sort out” her feelings.
Here is the main point I am trying to make about your ex boyfriend blocking you in this instance. Maybe he looks back on your time very fondly. Maybe he is obsessed with you for the right reasons but it simply hurts too much to talk to you.
It hurts because every time he does his feelings for you surface and maybe your relationship was very painful to him. So painful that he doesn’t want to remember it right now so he chooses to block you out of his life.
I want you to remember that any time an ex blocks you it is never a good sign. So, while this is probably the best outlook for being blocked it is still never a good thing.
(Don’t worry though I am going to be giving you a game plan for how to approach being blocked a little later.)
He Knows Blocking You Will Hurt You
No matter what there are always going to be those ex boyfriends out there that will hold things against you and look for revenge.
How do I know this?
Well, because I have actually been one these types of ex boyfriends. I know that is an absolutely horrible thing for me to say but I am actually not ashamed about it. Look, the thing you have to understand about men is that it is rare for us to be mature about our first few relationships.
As for me, I was a bit immature about my first relationship.
I look back now and just shake my head at how dumb I was. Nevertheless, being the immature idiot that I once was, was important because it taught me how to evolve into a more mature man. I looked back and was disappointed with how I acted and I actively worked to make sure I didn’t repeat those mistakes ever again in my future relationships. In other words, being immature at first was essential for me to evolve into a more mature and classy human being.
Now, you may be sitting there wondering,
“What if this only applies to you? What if it is different for other men?”
That is actually a really good point.
I would say that there is a 50/50 split on how men use their previous relationships to impact their future relationships (which we are hoping is you again 😉 .) Some men are like me and will learn from their mistakes and vow to never let them happen again. They will remain classy and mature in just about any situation.
However, the other type of men are the reason that this section was written. They won’t learn anything and they will refuse to change. In fact, rather than looking to “repair” your relationship they will look for revenge and they know for a fact that blocking you is the perfect way to do that. Again, this is another concept that I talk about a lot in my coaching sessions with clients.
So, I’ll break it down for you like I break it down for them.
One thing that we already know is that a man who blocks you to get back at you or to hurt you is not being mature about the situation. Like I said above, at one point in my life I went through a phase where I would have had no problem doing this.
Here is the exact thoughts I would have had,
“If I block her I know it will hurt her and maybe teach her a lesson..”
Pretty bad I know but I am telling you that is exactly what would run through my head. So, what factors do you think forced me into this type of thinking?
Why Do Men “Want Revenge,” “To Teach You A Lesson,” “Get Back At You?”
If an ex boyfriend blocks you to get revenge or to hurt you then one thing you already know right off the bat is that he is being very immature about the breakup. However, what I would like to do is give you some insight into what factors caused him to have these feelings of vengeance.
This first thing I want you to get through your mind is that USUALLY not all of the blame goes on him for wanting revenge. Sure, there are cases where your ex boyfriend is just a psycho and will want revenge because he is crazy. However, most ex boyfriends can point to something that YOU did wrong in the relationship. So, lets not pretend that you are entirely innocent here. We are all human beings after all and the thing about human beings is that none of us are perfect.
So, lets start there, the fact that you aren’t innocent.
It is every mans dream to date a woman that looks like a model. I guarantee you that if you walked up to a random guy on the street and gave him the choice to date an average looking girl versus a girl who looks like a model he will choose the model 100% of the time (even without knowing her personality.)
Of course, most men are dumb and they fail to realize that they aren’t the only ones with eyes. A woman who looks like a model is going to get a lot of attention from other men. That is just the way it is.
Hmm… perhaps I should be role playing here because this may be a little complicated to explain without the proper context.
Ok, you and I are dating.
Since you put professional models to shame you get a lot of attention from other men. While you don’t shout it out to the world you kind of like the attention from the other guys (even though you are dating me.) Realistically, I think if the roles were reversed and I got a lot of attention from women I would like it too so I can’t really blame you. However, I am playing the role of an idiot boyfriend here so I don’t look at it that way.
As you get attention from other men you begin to flirt with them a little. That is just the way you are. You like to flirt. You are a flirty, bubbly and upbeat person. Unfortunately, I am insecure and I get angry about the flirting.
Let’s fast forward to our breakup.
The two of us have broken up and I am angry. I decide that I want to block you to “get back at you” for the breakup. There are two things that will go through my mind when I decide to make the decision to block for this specific reason.
The first “reasoning” that I would have is tied to my understanding of how you are. I know for a fact that you are the type of person that likes to be social. You like creating and maintaining friendships. Even during our breakup you fed me the famous,
“let’s still be friends” line.
While most women may not mean it when they say it, I know you well enough to know that you are serious about it.
So, if I block you and take the “friends” option off the table I know that it is going to cause you pain and I kind of like that fact because deep down I am hurt and I want you to feel as bad as I do.
(It’s so messed up, I know..)
The second thought that I will have relates to what I was talking about above (with you being pretty, liking the attention and flirting with other guys.) You see, all throughout our relationship I hated that you flirted with other guys. You know that I hated it too because a lot of fights were caused between us because of it.
Your flirty nature is going to be a prime reason for me wanting revenge.
Every time I think to myself,
“Wait, why did I block her?”
I am probably going to say,
“Oh, she was all over those guys that one time.”
That’s the thing about exes that block for revenge. They will latch on to everything you did wrong in the relationship as a reason for revenge. EVEN IF IT WASN’T THAT BAD AT ALL.
Truthfully though, the overall outlook isn’t as bad as it seems. There are a few silver linings that I think are important to understand if an ex blocks you in this instance.
Two Silver Linings
If your ex boyfriend blocks you and you suspect it’s to “teach you a lesson,” “get back at you,” or “get revenge.” There are a few silver linings that I want you to remember before you go into code RED panic mode.
As I have stated multiple times throughout this section, I have been in a place where I have wanted to “teach an ex a lesson,” “get back at her,” and “get revenge.” While on the outside it may have appeared that I disliked my ex on the inside I can tell you with 100% certainty that I still had feelings for her.
This is one of those very rare occasions where actions don’t match up with the truth of how a man would be feeling about the situation. While blocking an ex girlfriend is a bold action stating (GO AWAY) the ultimate truth could be that the man is just doing it so he can feel wanted by you… WAIT, WHAT?
Think about this for a moment.
If your ex boyfriend were to block your phone number and you went crazy on Facebook trying to contact him the fact that you want to be in touch with him so badly will feel good to him because it means you want him. Never underestimate the fact that all men love to feel wanted by women (even me.)
The second silver lining we have already kind of discussed.
Remember above when I was talking about how I was actually glad that I was immature in my first relationship because it forced me to evolve and become a more mature human being and I could bring more to the table in the future?
Well, it could be entirely possible that your ex boyfriend hasn’t gone through this evolution yet. He may look back and be completely ashamed of how he blocked you and will want to get back in touch down the road (This is covered extensively later in the guide.)
For now, lets get through the rest of the reasons for why he may have blocked you.
Do you have a chance of getting him back?
Take Our QuizHe Blocked You Because He Never Wants To Talk To You Again
So far we have talked about two vastly different reasons for an ex boyfriend to block you.
- He blocks you because it hurts too much to talk to you.
- He blocks you because he knows it will hurt you.
Well, I am about to add another entirely different reason into the mix here,
Him never wanting anything to do with you ever again….
Where him blocking you because it hurts to talk to you has a lot to do with the emotions he has towards you and him blocking you to cause you pain is done from a place of anger, him blocking you because he never wants anything to do with you again is done from a place where you have pushed him to the point of no return.
In other words, him blocking you because he never wants to talk to you again is the worst case scenario for pretty much everyone reading this page.
So, I am going to give this the attention it deserves.
Does He Really Mean It?
Whats that old phrase?
When emotions run high logic runs low.
Speaking from personal experience there have been times where I have become so angry that I threw logic out of the window completely. Let me give you a real example from one of my previous relationships.
About four years ago I was dating a girl and we got into a fight (like couples tend to do.) It was four years ago so there are a few things that you need to understand. At that time I was still very much in the “maturing” phase of my life. Also, I was a little selfish so I didn’t really treat her as well as I could have.
Well, once the fight had commenced I made the biggest mistake ever. I allowed my emotions to control me. Instead of approaching the fight with this mindset,
“Ok, calm down Chris. Lets communicate with her and become better from this.”
I approached the fight with this mindset,
“I don’t care what she thinks. What are the most hurtful things that I can say to her?”
To my great shame…. I did just that (said the most hurtful things possible.) I thought of every hurtful subject I could to twist the knife a little deeper.
Her parents…
Her insecurities…
Her friends…
Logic was out the window and the lovely emotion of anger was in control. This brings me to the big point I am trying to make here.
Do you think I really meant any of the things I said to her?
Of course not.
Look, while I may have thought those horrible things in my head if you were to go deep inside my mind at the time I really didn’t mean any of them. The only reason I verbalized any of those thoughts was because I got angry and was looking for a way to hurt my girlfriend.
(Again, this is a completely immature way to handle the situation but anger has a way of throwing maturity out of the window.)
Ok, everything I just talked about I want you to remember because the “emotions run high logic runs low” theory is going to apply to my next few comments.
In the example I gave above I was in the middle of a relationship with a girl. What do you think would have happened if I had broken up with this girl?
No matter how you slice it a breakup is a highly emotional situation and it is almost a guarantee that things are going to be said (from both sides) that neither person means. One of those things may be something like,
“I never want to talk to you again.”
So, lets say that your ex boyfriend said this to you after your breakup and a day or two down the road you realized that your number has been blocked on his phone. Your immediate reaction is to panic and run around like a crazy person screaming, “THE APOCALYPSE IS HERE!!!!”
But I want to let you in on a little secret.
You probably won’t be blocked forever.
“Wait… what do you mean?”
You remember that whole “when emotions run high, logic runs low” speech I gave you at the beginning of this section right?
Well, the thing about emotions running high and logic running low is that eventually logic does return to run the show. Emotions reign is only temporary and logic is usually left to clean up the mess that emotion made.
(Yes, I am totally referring to emotion and logic like they are people, DEAL WITH IT!)
I have literally witnessed hundreds of women get blocked by their exes. Want to know something pretty shocking?
About 60% of those women end up back in touch with their exes in some way, shape or form. Here is what the thought process of an ex boyfriend who blocks you will typically look like:
The infographic above is actually kind of cool because you can see the progression from anger back to logic. Remember, the way this usually works is that your ex boyfriend will start off thinking with logic. However, when something painful happens (like a breakup) the logic switch gets turned off and the emotion/anger switch gets turned on. Of course, the emotion/anger switch doesn’t stay on forever. Slowly but surely logic is going to take the reigns back.
The picture above kind of shows you what will happen in your exes mind if he decides to unblock you (which as I said above is actually pretty likely.)
What I am going to do now is go through the entire progression in the picture so you can understand exactly what is happening in his mind.
“I am angry at her.”
This one is pretty self explanatory. He is angry at you. This anger signifies when the logic switch is turned off and when the emotion switch is turned on. Remember, emotion = anger in this case.
“I think I will block her.”
This is your exes first big action under the guise of emotion. He knows that blocking you will probably cause you pain.
“Blocking her didn’t feel as good as I thought it would.”
The truth of the situation sets in. Emotion steered him wrong as he is beginning to regret his decision. Hurting you doesn’t feel too good to him. This signifies the time where emotion is starting to lose its grasp on him. Logic is starting to set back in.
“God… I kind of miss her.”
This is kind of interesting. So far, the emotion of anger has been running the show. While logic is slowly retaking the battlefield some of the good emotions are starting to kick in. You know, emotions that make a guy go,
“I miss her.”
or
“I still have feelings for her.”
That is what is happening here. His anger is being replaced by the emotions that made him fall for you in the first place.
“I think I am going to unblock her.”
Welcome our good friend logic back to the party. That’s really the best way I can put it.
Do you have a chance of getting him back?
Take Our QuizHe Really Means It And Never Wants To Talk To You Again
I said that in about 60% of the cases an ex boyfriend will end up getting back in touch with you after he blocks you. While that percentage number is pretty high the truth is that it isn’t 100%. In fact, it means that 40% of exes could be serious about blocking you and may never want to talk to you again.
For every women reading this page having this happen is the worst possible outcome that they can think of.
Why?
Because it basically means that your chances of getting your ex back are 0%.
It is at this point that I would like to admit that I have actually blocked people from my life that I was serious about never talking to again and to this day I haven’t ever talked to them. Actually, there were only two people that I have ever done this with.
Both of them were women. One of them was an ex girlfriend and another was a friend that had a serious crush on me.
So, what did they do to cause me to “blacklist” them?
Lets start with the ex girlfriend first since I am sure that she is the one that you really want to hear about.
The thing you have to understand about this girl was the fact that the two of us just weren’t a good match for each other. We fought constantly, we didn’t agree on a lot of serious issues and by the end the relationship was so toxic that I literally went to bed at night dreading the next day.
After we broke up I made a decision to block her so I wouldn’t even be tempted to get back into that situation ever again.
Maybe me blocking her was done from a mindset of emotion as opposed to logic but in all honesty I am glad I did it because there was no way that I could have been happy with her.
So, basically I decided to block my ex because I determined that there was no way that she could improve my life. I knew I still had some feelings for her at the time and I knew that if I didn’t block her I would have been sucked back in and I didn’t want that for myself.
My second story of blocking someone was completely different but just as important because it can give you some important insight into how men think.
I had a friend who definitely had feelings for me (she told me she did.) Unfortunately for her, I didn’t like her in that way. Now, prior to this point I had only ever blocked one person in my entire life (that ex girlfriend I talked about above.) So, blocking someone from my life is very rare for me.
However, this friend who had feelings for me pushed me to that point very quickly when she started harassing me.
Every time I wouldn’t text her back immediately I would get harassed.
Every time I would tell her in a very nice way that I think she should move on she would harass me.
The main point is that she would say some really mean things and question my character. Apparently, I was “leading her on” even though I told her to move on. The harassment finally got to the point where it was starting to make me a little angry.
So, I gave her a warning,
“Look, if you keep acting this way we can’t be friends anymore.”
Once I told her this she settled down for a little while until I didn’t text her back immediately and then the harassment resumed. She had pushed me to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore so I blocked her from everything and never talked to her again.
She simply wasn’t adding anything positive into my life, just negative.
The Different Degrees Of Blocking
(If you want to learn more about how you can get your boyfriend back then please check out my E-Book.)
Now that you have a better understanding of why an ex boyfriend may block you I would like to turn your attention to HOW an ex can block you.
I entitled this section “The Different Degrees Of Blocking” because some forms of blocking are much worse that others. Don’t worry, I will explain that in a minute. First though, lets take a look at all the ways that an ex boyfriend can block you from his life.
(I know that this is a hard topic to read about but bear with me here.)
I have determined that there are really five ways that an ex boyfriend can block you.
- On the phone.
- On Facebook.
- Through applications
- Through email.
- The full block out.
As always, I am going to go in great detail into each of these methods so you can fully understand the situation you have found yourself in.
On The Phone
Have you ever noticed how our cell phones or smartphones are sacred to us all?
Personally speaking, the people that matter most to me all have my phone number. To me, my phone is sacred. It is like a little sanctuary where only a select number of important people are invited. I don’t just hand my number out unless I want you in my life. It is as simple as that.
I have found that most people are like that. They are very protective of their phones. Most people don’t just hand out their numbers and they sure as heck put some thought into who they are blocking from their phones.
This brings us to you and your ex.
I would say that an ex blocking you from his phone is the most common thing that I hear about when I talk to women on this site. Fortunately, it is easy to unblock someone from your phone. As I said above, around 60% of exes do end up getting back in touch after they block their significant other.
So, how bad is it if you get blocked from your exes phone?
Well, getting blocked is never a good thing but I will tell you that if you get blocked from his phone don’t think the world is over. It is actually the most common form of blocking.
On Facebook
Next to Google, Facebook is one of the biggest websites in the world.
In fact, I have always found it amusing that in the day and age that we live in a relationship isn’t ever “official” until Facebook says it is. Heck, two people can meet through Facebook and fall in love. Funny anecdote, my best friend actually met his girlfriend of five years through Facebook.
(They are still dating if you are wondering.)
Now, I don’t know your situation specifically but what I do know is that if your ex blocks you through Facebook it is not a good thing.
Why do I say that?
When you block someone from your phone (at least on the iPhone) it isn’t really that hard to unblock them. However, if you block someone on Facebook it is actually quite hard to unblock them. Nevertheless, I have found that most men don’t block their exes on Facebook.
Why?
Well, they want to spy on them to see how bad they are hurting.
Through Applications
Some people don’t really use text messaging on their phones. Instead they opt to go through messaging applications like:
- Kik Messanger
- Snapchat
In my view these are all the same as text messaging (with the exception of Snapchat.) What you need to keep an eye out for is if you are being blocked from his regular phone and from these little applications. If he does block you through both the applications and the big phone it is not a good sign. While there is still a 60% chance that he will unblock you down the road he may be more serious about the blocking if he takes the time to block you on all these little applications as well.
Still though, an ex boyfriend who blocks a girl is usually doing so through a highly emotional state. Give it some time and you will be surprised at what happens.
Through Emails
Did you know that it is possible to block someone on email?
Well, it is.
I want to make this as simple as possible. If he is blocking you on email it is a very bad sign. It means he is probably much more serious about not talking to you. Of course, I am all about turning negatives into positives so the thing that you have to understand is that very rarely do men communicate with their girlfriends through email.
Usually they communicate through talking on the phone, through Facebook or other social media outlets.
So, keep those spirits high because it isn’t the end of the world yet.
A Full Block Out
Lets talk about a nightmare scenario.
Lets say that your ex boyfriend is extremely angry with you after the breakup. So, he decides to institute a full block out.
What is a full block out?
Full Block Out– When an ex boyfriend blocks you in every way imaginable. Where there is no possible way you can get in touch with him.
Essentially, this is where your ex boyfriend blocks you from his phone, through Facebook, through applications and through his email. I have even heard some cases where he can block your mutual friends for a while so he doesn’t have to see you in person.
What type of women are at risk for a full block out?
Generally what I have seen is the women who have cheated on their ex boyfriends. Cheating has a way of making people angry, who knew?
(That was sarcasm by the way.)
Look, I am not saying that only cheaters get the full block out treatment as there have been cases where an ex does a full block out “just because.” What I am saying is that cheaters have a higher risk of it happening to them. So, keep that in mind.
What You Need To Do If An Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
(Learn more about Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO by clicking here.)
Now we are really getting to the good stuff.
So far all I have talked about is the psychology that goes behind someone blocking an ex. I haven’t really talked about what to do if it happens to you (which is what a lot of you are probably wondering.) Well, now that I feel I have properly explained everything that needs to be explained when someone blocks you we can move on and focus on exactly what steps you need to take if you do get blocked.
For this section I have outlined the steps that I want you to take if you do get blocked in the graphic below,
Lets start at the very beginning with determining the extent of the block.
Determine The Extent of The Block
(I couldn’t resist… I had to put a superman meme up.)
If you skipped over the “different degrees of blocking” section above it might be a good idea to go back and read it because what is talked about there is essential for what is going to be talked about here.
It doesn’t take a genius to realize that some forms of blocking are worse than others.
Once you learn that you have been blocked by your ex boyfriend it is your job to figure out in how many ways you have been blocked. Why is this important?
Well, look at it this way. If your ex boyfriend blocks you from his smartphone but he doesn’t block you from Facebook then technically you can still get back in touch with him through Facebook when you want. Knowing what options you have is important because those options are going to determine how you play the game.
Of course, I still haven’t told you what to do if you are faced with the worse case scenario of a full out blockage. In other words, what do you do if your ex boyfriend blocks you in every form imaginable?
I am going to say something that I have been putting off for a while now because it is going to be very hard for you to hear and you will probably hate me for it but it needs to be said. If you are faced with a situation where you are blocked by your ex in every way then your options are very limited.
The truth is that in that situation there is only one person who can help you and he isn’t too fond of you right now (remember, he blocked you.)
In other words, you are in the worst possible position because you are at his mercy completely. While there are a few things you can do to influence his decision there isn’t really anything you can say to change his mind. Why? Well, because you are blocked, remember?
“But what if I confront him in person?”
So, let me get this straight. Your ex blocks you (a strong statement from him saying that he doesn’t want to talk to you) and you decide that, that means you should try harder and confront him in person?
Look, I am going to tell you exactly what he will think if you do this.
“Wow, she really is psycho.”
Don’t be the psycho ex girlfriend. Be the confident ungettable one.
Patience = No Contact
So, what is the genius plan to deal with being blocked by an ex?
Well, your first instincts when you find out that you are blocked are going to scream,
“TRY HARDER!!”
You are going to want to get in touch with him as soon as possible in any way you can possibly think of. I have even seen some women compose long letters and mail them to their exes. Look, I am a fan of letters but the only time that they ever mean something to me is when I am dating someone. If I were to get one from an ex I would be a little creeped out.
Right now, your best bet when you find out that you are blocked is to exercise patience. I am sure you have heard that phrase,
Patience is a virtue
Well, in this case it really is. This brings me to my next point. How are you supposed to exercise patience?
Through the no contact rule of course.
I am not going to take the time explain what the no contact rule is since I talk about it so much on this site. However, what I can do for you is give you a link to a new guide I wrote that really goes in-depth on my new view of the no contact rule. I highly recommend that you read that page.
Why do you think the no contact rule is a good idea in this case?
Throughout this entire page I have thrown around a pretty interesting statistic relating to women who have been blocked. Do you remember what that statistic was?
I have found, when talking to the women who have been blocked, that in 60% of cases their exes end up getting back in touch with them. These women didn’t have to do anything for their ex to get in touch it just happened all on its own.
The no contact rule will force you to be patient and it will also prevent you from being tagged as that psycho ex girlfriend I talked about above.
Facebook/Other Social Media
The beautiful thing about the no contact rule is that on top of making an ex boyfriend think about you more,
“Why hasn’t she tried to contact me?”
It also forces you to put a lot of focus on yourself. I am going to be honest with all of the women reading this. Most of you won’t get your ex boyfriend back because you can’t get out of your own way.
What do I mean by that?
Right now you are conditioned to think about your ex boyfriend as opposed to thinking of yourself. Many of you probably think that you can’t live without him. I have heard just about every sob story in the book. Nothing really shocks me anymore. You know what I would like? For once I would like to open up the comments on this site and read something like,
“I don’t care if I get him back or not but I am going to become so incredible that when he is on his deathbed and looking back at his life he will say to himself, I made a mistake letting her go.”
You see, that is interesting to me. That tells me that your world doesn’t revolve around a guy and it also says that you have a lot of self confidence. I want you to remember this attitude because it is going to be extremely important for you to have for what I say next.
Your ex has blocked you but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t checking up on you on Facebook or other social media outlets. So, rather than sit in your room and cry about your situation I say you be proactive with the knowledge that he will be keeping an eye on you through Facebook.
Lets go back to that attitude that I wanted you to have. You know, the “I will become so incredible he will regret his decision” attitude.
Make the necessary changes in your life to become incredible and make sure you let the world know about it on social media. Update your Facebook profile with things like,
- Incredible pictures of your life.
- Incredible things that happen to you.
- Fun pictures of you and your friends having a good time.
- Pictures of you and some guy friends (spark some jealousy.)
- Anything that can be viewed as a positive thing.
This may be an embarrassing thing for me to admit but for years after I broke up with my ex girlfriend I would check up on her Facebook profile. The two of us weren’t Facebook friends but her wall was semi public to where I could see the major events of her life.
Here is the interesting thing though, two years after the breakup occurred between us I didn’t have any feelings for her at all. However, I would still check up on her because I was curious.
Your in a better position than I was because the breakup between you and your ex boyfriend is probably still fresh which means both of you probably still have feelings for each other. Curiosity is a powerful motivator and he will probably come snooping around in the near future to see how you are.
So, do you want him to see a depressed version of you or a happy version?
I don’t have to answer that do I?
Do you have a chance of getting him back?
Take Our QuizMutual Friends
An avid reader of Ex Boyfriend Recovery had an interesting idea.
Her ex boyfriend had blocked her (a full block out) and she didn’t know what to do. So, what she decided to do was use her ex boyfriend and her’s mutual friends to pass a long letter to him. Of course, the letter idea didn’t work out for her as he didn’t unblock her but I think she may have been on to something with those mutual friends.
You see, her mind was in the right place with the mutual friends but she didn’t really use the mutual friends in the right way. Using them to pass letters or messages back and forth usually never works.
What she should have done was used the mutual friends as a way to get her exes attention. Allow me to explain.
Have you ever noticed how humans have this tendency to spread information like wildfire. Well, this is especially true when it comes to relationships. Perhaps it is best if I give a fake example to illustrate my point.
Your ex boyfriend has blocked you from his phone and has unfriended you on Facebook. Right now you are pretty much down in the dumps. Of course, the world isn’t over so you decide to hang out with a few mutual friends that you and your ex boyfriend have. These mutual friends aren’t bad people but how much do you want to bet that the second your little play date with them is over they won’t send something like this to your ex,
If you are betting against a message being sent like this then I think you owe me some money 😉 .
I would actually say that you want this message to be sent because it is going to force your ex to think about you. Once you are in his head curiosity will take hold and he may start spying on your Facebook profile or grilling your mutual friends on how you are doing.
This brings me to my next point.
Should you talk to your mutual friends about your ex?
Well, at some point of your hangout with them I am betting you will get a question like,
“So, how are you after the breakup?”
If you are faced with a situation like this here is how you should play it.
Things not to say:
- DON’T say that the breakup was the greatest thing that ever happened to you. (we don’t want that getting around to your ex)
- DON’T say that you are devastated by the breakup.
Things to say:
- DO say your life is going great.
- DO smile a lot.
- DO talk about anything great that has recently happened to you.
- DO ask about your ex.
I want to talk about that last “DO.”
Why do you think I want you to ask about your ex boyfriend?
Well, I want you to seem interested but not too interested. It’s ok if you are asking about your ex boyfriend. We are trying to get his attention so he could potentially unblock you. What you do want to avoid is asking about him too much.
In fact, I would say only ask about him once and then move on to talking about something else.
Here is how the conversation should go:
Mutual Friend: So, how are you holding up after the breakup?
You: I am doing fine! I have been focusing a lot on me and it has been great.
Mutual Friend: Do you still think about him?
You: From time to time. Why? Did he ask about me or something?
Mutual Friend: He may have been asking 😉 .
You: Well, tell him I say hi.
(End conversation there.)
Contact Your Ex After NC (If Possible)
Lets say your no contact period is completed and your ex still hasn’t unblocked you. However, you are still able to contact him via Facebook.
Well, after the no contact rule is complete would be a great time to initiate a conversation. Enough time should have passed for him to calm down a little bit so if you play your cards right you could get a response.
Ah, but what do you say?
Well, I have created multiple guides that cover that:
Well, it was fun writing this guide. I hope you got a lot out of it. As always I will be happy to answer any questions. Feel free to ask me anything in the comments.
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